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Ogden Nash

  • There are people who are very resourceful At being remorseful, And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends Is to do something terrible and then make amends.

  • In the world of mules there are no rules.

  • Parsely is gharsley.

  • Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.

  • Middle age: when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

  • Purity is obscurity.

  • The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure.

  • Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else and usually is.

  • Here lies my part, goodbye I have kissed it; thank you kind, I wouldn't have missed it.

  • If called by a panther don't anther.

  • Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.

  • Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

  • People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

  • Senescence beings and middle age ends, the day your descendants outnumber your friends.

  • Poets aren't very useful, because they aren't consumeful or very produceful.

  • One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.

  • Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, and it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

  • Here's a good rule of thumb too clever, is dumb.

  • Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

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